What Self-Care Really Means (and What It’s Not)
Not indulgence or escapism, like binge-watching a series or overspending. Those things can feel like a reward at the end of a hard day or week, but they have a negative side effect of not actually making you feel better about yourself or emotionally filled up.
True self-care supports emotional regulation, connection, and recovery, and removes that feeling of being depleted or empty.
Why Typical Self-Care Advice Doesn’t Work
Many lists are unrealistic for people with limited time, energy, or resources and don’t apply to their situations. For example, going to a spa or taking a bath isn’t available to everyone.
Neurodivergent, differently abled, or overwhelmed people need personalized approaches that help them feel empowered and support addressing their own individual needs.
Therapist-Approved Self-Care Examples
- Setting boundaries and saying “no” by recognizing that trying to make everyone happy will lead to feeling depleted, and that we can’t give to others if we are depleted ourselves.
- Creating a calming nighttime routine that may involve soothing sounds and lower lighting, relaxing tea time, and putting the phone out of reach.
- Limiting screen time and doomscrolling during the day and especially at night, when our minds are tired and can be easily agitated by upsetting news.
- Deep breathing or grounding exercises that can be used anywhere and at any time, without the need for equipment.
- Therapy as a form of self-care where you can be heard without judgment, and explore what you need more of or less of in your life.
How to Create a Self-Care Plan That Works
- Identify what drains vs. restores you, and take action on that information.
- Plan small, consistent practices where you can quickly see the differences and improvements in your well-being.
- Make your self-care accessible and flexible so that it can be adapted for travel, work, home life, and more.
What to Do When Self-Care Still Feels Hard
Explore resistance with a therapist and discover what might be getting in the way. Address underlying trauma, shame, or perfectionism so that you can create an individual plan for self-care that works for you.
Start Supporting Yourself in a More Meaningful Way
Please reach out and schedule a consultation to connect for therapy that prioritizes real, sustainable care for you.
